No matter what.....Be happy

I found this older picture of mom and the twins, Mailee and Murren. I just love it...she is hanging in there and seems to be smiling whenever we talk. God is so awesome! He is sufficient to help us, love us and protect us in all our needs!!!

Day 6 ~ Missing mom!!!

She called!!! I have talked to my mom three times now and every time she called me I jumped up and down! Looks pretty funny but I have to do it!! I yell, "It's her, it's her" and jump up and down!! I miss her so much! Today I thought of going over to the office (mom and dad's) because I need to get something...that thought made me cry a lot. I want her to be there, I want to see her face and to hear her talk. I want to go have fun, go to a movie, go out to the Mexican restaurant and laugh with her and oh yes get a BIG margarita!!! I can't believe she is going to be away for 6 months. She sure is one of my closest and best friends! She knows me better than I do at times. And she always loves me unconditionally!! Well, that's what mom's do I know but I think she does it better than any mom ever!! hehehe!

I know I sound like I am complaining...well I guess I am...but I know....I trust and I believe God has better plans than I do. It just hurts sometimes to know she is not just a 15 min. drive away and I can't pick up the phone and talk to her whenever I want. So here I weep, her I think of her, and here I type my thoughts and feelings.

Yesterday, went well, as well as it could. I was busy with Jebediah, he has pink eye so bad and he is a bit sick too. So, really I did not cry much. Oh wait....I just realized I did not go to town. Oh that's it. The minute I get into the car and head down the road I cry! There is just something about being out in town...I guess because she (my mom) loves to go to town, or at least she always has to go to town and do things. Man, I wish I could call her number and hear dad answer, "No, she went to town. You don't want to talk to me your old dad, I know." ha! Then he would tell me some health fact he just read about. I then would call her cell phone...you know it....no answer....!!!!! :) I miss my mom and dad!
Ok, I need to get my mind on Christ! I need to pray and read and think of His plan. I need to trust and believe, this is what lessens the pain. This is what helps me get through the day. I need to pray that she is comforted and loved and happy. This is what I need to do!!!
Wow, God comforts so fast, He heals the pain as well. He can turn our mourning into dancing....Thank you Daddy! Please be with the rest of the family my Jesus. Please be with those people who have forever lost loved ones. Jodi must be hurting so much, it's coming up to Christian's 1 year birthday (her baby that was stillborn). Comfort her Father. Be with Tatitana, Steve and his sisters that have lost their daddy/husband. There are so many people that are hurting or missing some loved one today I am sure. Right now I cry out to you Abba Father and ask for you to comfort them! There is grief and sorrow in this life but He will not give us more than we can handle. How could people live without Christ? I am so blessed to be saved and called! I praise you my Lord! Thank you for life.
Again thank you for my amazing parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Alone

Day three....and it already feels like forever at times. But really every time the tears come to me my God comes to me Bigger and Better!! How amazing and how thankful I am for my God!!!! Thank you Jesus Christ!!

Today I started to have the 'empty void feeling' rise up within me. Mom and dad are not here to call. Mom will not be pulling into the driveway just to see us. She won't call me just to see what we are doing. Dad won't answer the phone because mom is in town, and because he won't answer the phone, I won't hear his health fact that I never knew before....and after he tells me that fact I won't hear his cute and very contagious little chuckle with a "Oh, I why did I just tell you that, you did not call for me!" ! I teared up and I hated it! Then I looked over and saw my cell phone, it was fully charged so I took it off the charger. On the phone pops up a sweet little text from my Aunt Ginger! She wrote, “Love You :)” Now, that was God, that was a my big, ever loving and tender Daddy giving me a text love hug from family! Thank you Ginger so much for texting me! That text made me realize that I am not alone, my mom, my dad and all of us are not alone!! It's ok to cry and hurt, but oh how glorious it is to believe and be comforted in His love!!!

Every time I feel overwhelmed and sad, I must think and believe! My God loves my parents and will not forsake them. Jesus will not leave them alone! As my sister-in-law Heather said, “Tami, your family always gets through hard times, and with joy! Tami that is what is so amazing about you all.” That is so true, my parents never turn from God, they never doubt His love and they are always an amazing example of looking on the “Brightside” in whatever situation they find themselves! :)

This is my hope right now, this is my peace....just thought I would share.

Last day

It's done! It's well after 2:00p.m. and both my parents are in the “unknown land”. What in the world? My dad and my mom in a prison camp? I have had my ups and my downs today. My ups was when I was busy with my own kids and my own affairs....my downs was when I would think about them. I just about “Lost it” when I went to the store this evening. In the store, I saw all the things my mom would buy if she were here. She was always at the store....and yes, it was Ray's, and yes, she was always shopping for more than for her and dad! This is the the deal....I had to take the first letter to them form the kids, so I had to go to town. With 8 children and two grandparents that they love it makes for a lot of letters!!!! Anyway, after 2:00p.m. I took the twins with me to the store and they were so happy to be shopping with mommy...(me), so I had to hide my sadness and tears. It worked! They were the cutesiest little happy shopping M&M twins in town! God is good to help in all those little details we need help with....thank you Lord! I know I gotta love the ones here by me just as much as I miss those away from my side!

It was difficult tonight when I knew they were both in jail. I tried to call mom's cell phone...no answer. I cried. I tried to call dad's cell number....no answer again (I must like to make myself cry!) Anyway, I thought to call Troy (my big brother). He was gone and his wife Heather answered. That really was a blessing! I was a mess....so sad, trying to be brave. She said the words I needed to hear! Wow, thanks sister! She reminded me...“Tami, one of the things that your family does that amazed me when I first met you all was that your family could get through difficult times smiling! Always your family was looking at the good, never wavering in your faith or sad or depressed!” (Well, that's my version of her pep talk). It was awesome anyway!!!

So quickly I post and I write, no matter what.....look to Christ, look to the eternal life, no matter what your going through cling to Jesus Christ! There is no way I could survive this without my God!!!

Confident By My Chains

Here rest I, unbound unchanged,
Yet Iron hold these limbs still fast,
Health of heart, my body lame,
By grace I be him unsurpassed,

Think it not an ominous bane,
When lions roar but find thee not,
Joy of woe and thy fathers name,
A blessed truth to soon forgot,

Here dwell I, glad bearer of shame,
Facade of life, pass me not by,
Love me joy and strike me pain,
If ever I lived tis a grace to die,

So long as only Christ sustains,
I am confidant by my chains!

~By aLeX G.

Murren's poem

Grandpa

I love you so much,
You mean lots to me.
I love your gentle touch,
Your funny as can be.
You're loving in my eyes,
I miss your jokes and laughter.
I hope that all time fly's
I'll love you ever after.

By: Murren Elizabeth 9yr Grand-daughter.

Left today :(

Seeing my mom and dad leave today was one of the hardest things I have ever done. For a few reasons.
The grandkids crying, showing their emotion and grief for time that they would have away from their grandparents. Their sweet tender tears. Some of the kids were trying to hide, some just wanted to cling to grandma and grandpa and i saw Alex being strong for his little sisters. It was very sweet, yet painful.
It hurt seeing the agony that it all was on mom and dad. They had tears and sorrow yet they were being "brave" to make us feel better. It was a peace in seeing their smiles and laughter in the mist of such heartache...they are absolutely amazing!! God you are so prevalent in their lives!!!!
For me, today was so extremely rough. At times I would just start to cry over the littlest stuff.... song, a thought or just looking at them. I wanted to go early today before they left and help get things done, but I felt bad because all I would do was cry, or leave the room so they would not see the tears. How, how can I go without my parents for 6 or so months. It seems silly in some ways. They are not dying or dead. That is the end here on earth. We are not fighting, it's only 6 months but still how can I do it?
Well, yes, I know I have the answer to that,I can do it through JESUS....that's how we all can make it through this time! I believe they will touch lives, people who are longing to see even a glimpse of the love and joy we have as a family. People who think happiness is only a fairytale, people seeking a friend and people seeking a God. My parents are a bright light going into a dark place and they will bring His Kingdom here on earth.........I praise God for this!
Peace Father peace to my mom and dad! Please!!!!